What was your reaction when you read the title of this article? How did it feel? For me, these words are empowering.
Here’s to my most vulnerable confession, my coming out, my commitment to myself, a declaration; here’s to creating a movement. I’ve been hiding behind my laptop screen for over a year, and haven’t been sharing on SensualFoodist.com, LanaShay.com, or PureKambo.com Fortunately, there’s been some action on another channel, and this interview just went live just a week ago on PsychedelicTimes.com. The hibernation period was spent…wait! Drumroll please! I’m writing a book!
Erotic Hustle: Redefining Sin Through Sacred Sexuality, is my “coming out.” And it’s a party. A celebration! Full disclosure. You’re invited. This is a coming out party: I’m a sex worker. I’ve been living a double life for-what feels like-my entire adult life, and it’s time to shed some layers and begin a new chapter. It’s been over a decade, that I’ve worked in the sex industry as a webcam model, and stripper.
At 22 years old, I was just looking for the fastest, easiest way to get cash in my hands. The impetus evolved from a desire to feel a sense of financial stability, into a genuine desire to be in service. Though this consistent effort, roots took hold, and grew down deep. The invaluable lesson learned is that the light of altruism and empathy outshine any and all lower vibrations and dark desires. I found that I couldn’t just “work.” I had to make meaning. The more I yearned to find meaning in my “work,” the more I felt called to explore the potential of this endeavor becoming bigger than just work — bigger than myself. And so it is.
[Tweet “What you seek is seeking you — Rumi”]
My memoir style book isn’t a literary masterpiece, I wasn’t writing to win any awards. As I wrote, and relived the countless evenings of flashing lights, clanging drinks, and edgy conversation; I found myself in a cathartic process. This book was — is therapy. At some point, I’d made a decision that this story had to be told, even if it was only for myself—and upon completion, I could walk away from my life as a stripper. This book is a gift, to myself. A gift to release myself, and also to honor the time I spent working in the sex industry. It’s a culmination of the most profound, comical, shocking and uplifting moments, and greatest lessons. I believe that burnout never took hold—after all of years because of my “pure” practices, nourishing my body, honoring my temple, the use of plant medicines and psychedelics, and most importantly, reconnecting with my womb space with the support of Kambo.
[…] My intention was to teach them something not only new, but valuable, and leave a lasting impression (hence my article published on Medium.com and following story The Pinnacle). In October of 2015, I drank Ayahuasca (a psychoactive, ceremonial “tea,” intentionally used for spiritual awakening), for the first time. Not surprisingly, my interactions with the men I’d meet in gentleman’s clubs became an entirely new exploration under the force of the medicine. Messages flooded my being of honor, respect, dignity and integrity. I had a vision of myself as a queen in a grand castle, wearing gaudy attire resembling a Mantua from the late 1600’s. Racing toward the three story high gatehouse doors, I stood my ground and allowed no one to enter without permission. The vision melted into a view from the inside. I could see my entire reproductive system as a sacred cave filled with crystals, semi-precious stones and geometric patterns in every hue visible to the human eye. The voice that spoke to me said, You are sacred. Your temple is sacred. Honor your temple. Allow none to enter without permission, without devotion, and reverence. They must earn the key to unlock this sacred temple. You are a high priestess. The message was clear. Respect from others could only be felt through a reflection of deep respect for myself. This first experience with ayahuasca solidified the practice that I had while working in the club. Because of yoga, meditation, my understanding of Eastern religions, exploration into the metaphysical and early use of psychedelics, I had already accepted and utilized the power of conscious touch, and clear intention. When I was on point, fully rested and tapped into my own divinity, my intention was to connect with the wounded warrior. Just as any woman, completely embodied and in tune with her own feminine power, presence heals.
Namaste is a word that I learned through yoga practice and understand the translation as, the divine in me, acknowledges the divine in you. I imagine that I’m seeing the divine in this man before me, and energetically send him love through my thoughts, and connect with his heart though consciously placing my left hand on his heart at some point during the private dance. In my most elevated visions, I see this type of connection as my offering for a more loving existence. Imagine if we all saw the divine in one another… Also imagine being surrounded by hundreds of individuals who do not share this vision. The day that I did find my tribe of goddesses who did, in fact, share my vision, I was elated. Ironically, it was also my very last trip to Vegas. Per the suggestion of two close friends, another Vegas dancer and I were urged to meet, and finally did so after almost two years of failed attempts. The occasion was a full moon ceremony. Via group text, a circle of eight women gathered in a home on the outskirts of the city of Sin to relinquishing suffering and collectively manifest our deepest desires. This gathering was yet another compelling sign. It was confirmed. There exists, a small akin group of women, that are consciously bringing Tantric, spiritual practices into the walls of gentlemen’s clubs. I’d found my tribe.
I knew in my heart that even if I never saw these women again, that I was held and supported by a greater force. We are each, quietly going into the darkness and offering our light. This isn’t to say that there are many more women doing lightwork in the darkness of strip clubs across the world. Without question, every single female sharing intimacy with a man yearning for this type of presence, is a gift. The authentic presence of any woman can heal. I’ve heard it from dozens of men, and felt it from hundreds. This work is sacred, and my time in Vegas confirmed it. Eventually the endless hours past dawn, and cloud of second hand smoke drained me completely, and I returned to Cheetah’s. Not to mention […]
A sense of clarity unfolded, as the pages came into form. My aspiration is crystal clear: I am calling in A Conscious Strip Club! After voicing this desire for over five years now, I’ve discovered that I’m not the only one.
When I’ve expressed this desire; this vision—many women who are in the sex industry, and women who have claimed their own divine feminine power, feel the resonance. Men feel it too! There are masses envisioning this shift. It’s an incredible phenomenon. I see an extraordinarily unique opportunity in gentleman’s clubs, and the sex industry as a whole.
“The Pinnacle,” is a story in the book that details one of the many connections that served as confirmation. Someone who sought me out, in a different city (we’d originally met in Vegas), to share that our time together had made a profound impact on his life. It’s not me. I’m not the only one. Dancers co-create memories that can either serve as a warning, or an uplifting point of growth. When I really felt that I could exit the industry, and feel complete and fulfilled, was after this experience. My optimistic mind considered: If there’s just one, there is likely more!
What I feel; wholeheartedly, is that the sex industry as a whole could uplevel. Tantric practices, conscious intention, ritual and most importantly, intentional psychedelic use are the alchemical magic… If this at all peaks your curiosity, it would be my pleasure to receive your feedback and hear your thoughts!
I invite your to view publishizer.com campaign, and please consider preordering a copy of this book. I will have a greater opportunity, and be pitched to major publishers, if this book reaches 500+ preorders sold. Thank you for taking time to read! This is an incredibly challenging transition; out of the industry — and even more so, sharing myself as Ava Genna! I’m so excited to leap into the unknown…arms wide open.
I deeply appreciate your support.